Splerty’s Weblog

This is a sad and baffling subject to me.  My best friend recently gave birth at 22 weeks to her son, whom she named, whom she loved, whom she lost because he was just born too soon.  But he WAS born.  She dilated, she had contractions, and she went through labor and a vaginal delivery.  The outcome of the pregnancy was not a good one, but does that make it any less valid?  She WAS pregnant, she DID give birth.  she had a tiny son, with 10 fingers and 10 toes, he was born, he passed away, he was cremated.  He rests in a tiny urn on her nightstand.  yet, from an official standpoint, this never happened.  He was never born, and he never died…as if he were never here at all. This birth is considered a medical condition/emergency, not a life that was all too short.  Baby R has no birth certificate.  Baby R is not eligible for a birth certificate.  Why not???!!! Apparently, if he were just 2 weeks older, he would have been worthy of one. 

I really do not understand it.  The whole experience was difficult to comprehend, but for some reason, at least for me, the not having a birth certificate part is particularly infuriating.  It’s as if baby R never existed, yet we all know he did, we even have photographs and footprints to prove it! 

It’s very sad.  I’m sure in time, my friend will share her feelings with me on this.  For now I can only imagine how it feels to go through what she did and come out on the other end with the added insult of her pregnancy and subsequent birth being invalidated by TPTB. 

Being as analytical as I am, I’ve tried to go through all of the possibilities for this.  I’ve tried to be objective, see this from every possible angle.  Here’s what I’ve come up with:

Is it a fraud thing?  Identity theft? insurance fraud?  Is it too hairy a situation to give out a birth certificate to someone who only lived for a matter of minutes?  Would it create thousands of legal documents that could be unethically obtained and used for nefarious reasons?  Would it really deter that many would be criminals?  As if there aren’t plenty of deceased 24 weekers to prey on?  Or full term babies for that matter?  Is the risk of creating these “extra” documents that could be misused greater than the risk of harm inflicted upon grieving mothers who just want a piece of paper recognizing the birth of their baby?

Is it a money thing?  Does all the ink, paperwork, processing from our underpaid state clerical staff rack up such an expense that it constitutes separating babies born into gestational ages of value?  We already pay a nominal fee for birth certificates anyway, so that wouldn’t make too much sense.

Is it an abortion thing?  Touchy subject, I know, but it begs consideration.  Would giving a birth certificate to a wanted 22 week old human/fetus/baby (whatever term you wish to apply) further define the blurred lines of what is legally considered a person or a cognizant human being?  If it’s okay for 24 weeks, why not 22?  Where is the line drawn?  Can 9 weekers be considered “born”?  Couldn’t this decision be left to the mother?  If SHE feels this baby is a baby.  If SHE wants to have a birth certificate or not for a baby that isn’t viable outside of the womb? 

Is it a stupid thing?  Is there really any logical reason to deny this document at all to anybody with a verifiable pregnancy that didn’t get to that magical 24 number?!?! 

I wish I knew.  In the meantime, I’m making my own “piece of paper” to present to my friend, in honor of the birth of her son.  It may not be “official” but it’s real and I’ll make it with care and love.  I hope it means something to her and she can forget about the system giving baby R the cold shoulder.